You’re in a new place. A new mental state. You’ve transformed into a new person. And not everyone is going to understand that or be ok with it.
In life, people come and go. The loss of friendship is a natural part of life. When you enter a new place, you can’t carry around old baggage lest you turn back.
The wheat and tare parable presented in the Bible is an example of growth vs. stagnation. The wheat and tare are very similar to each other in their early stages of development. It’s hard to tell them apart.
You might be on really good terms with a person. You may have been through it all, and you may have experienced growth and evolution together.
But something happens. A gap begins to form as your growth becomes more rapid.
In the Bible, the only way to tell the wheat and tare apart from one another is by waiting until they grow. As they grow, they begin to look different, and a person becomes able to tell them apart. They may have started from the same place, but they end up at opposite ends of the spectrum.
Likewise it is with relationships. Not everyone will be able to follow you on your journey as you mature mentally and spiritually. Some relationships you have to let die a natural death, because if you don’t, it can become poisonous.
A tare is a weed that can potentially choke out the wheat. If you’re surrounded by people that aren’t helping you grow, people that are like a magnet attracting you back to yesterday, it’s time to separate.
And separation isn’t easy. I’m in my junior year of college, and lately, I’ve been asking myself the question: After I graduate, will my college friendships survive? Are they merely friendships of convenience and mutual circumstances, or are they true friendships meant to last?
I have met some great people my two years of college, but surprisingly, while I would be sad with the death of a friendship, I would be ok.
My junior year has been largely a solo journey. I can feel some of the friendships I have maintained for two years slowly fading into the background.
Too few people realize that with new growth also comes new friendships; real, lifelong friendships that will help you excel into godhood.
The balance in my life has been shifted. Where I used to primarily talk and laugh with my college friends, today and for a while now, I find myself talking and laughing with my Nation of Islam Vanguard sisters.
Don’t be afraid to separate from the weeds of your life, because the separation might cause you to evolve into a flower that is able to form new friendships from the surrounding flowers.